Me, My Mat and I
Coming Home to My Mat When My Body Changed the Plan
In June 2025, something in my body took over.
During an intense stressful situation, a new autoimmune disease took hold, crutches became necessary, and pain became a daily companion. The version of my body I’d known for years wasn’t the same.
My pathway since has been a mix of natural, lifestyle and allopathic medical approaches. Seven months in, I still haven’t managed to get on top of it. It’s an ongoing journey of trial, error, adjusting, and trying again.
One of the hardest parts in all of this was losing my great love: yoga.
For most of my adult life, my mat has been my anchor. A doorway back home to myself through breath, stretching, mindfulness and joyful rolling around on the floor.
Those deep child’s poses, long hip releases and slow flows were a wellbeing staple, and my yoga mat went everywhere with me, especially on trips away for work.
And then with a left knee that could no longer bend, all of that disappeared.
It was too much, physically, and too confronting emotionally to return to the mat. I couldn’t do the shapes I loved, and just sitting felt awkward.
So I stopped. My mat stayed in the basket, and I relied on other ways to move, turning to water-based fitness, which has been a saving grace.
My journey of living with chronic illness in different forms over my adult life, with each diagnosis, has been a grieving process. Then I chose to lean into radical surrender, through which comes acceptance and then gratitude for what my body can still do.
But until recently, I had still been grieving not having time on my mat… the avoidance was still there, not to mention the FOMO of missing the annual daily yoga classes on the beach followed by a swim over the summer break.
And then I was invited to join a 100-day home yoga practice challenge. Part of me thought, ‘Don’t go there,’ and another part of me was curious: what if it didn’t have to look the way it used to?
So I said yes. Because through the radical surrender I realised something important:
I don’t have to wait for “better” to show up before I do.
I don’t need a pain-free, perfectly bending knee to return to my mat.
I can arrive exactly as I am.
On day one, unrolling my mat again felt strangely emotional. The smells, the feel under my feet…all so familiar. And yet, I was arriving with a completely different body and a completely different relationship to that body.
So I show up each day…sometimes it's just 15 minutes with my legs up the wall, and sometimes I play with my capacity and try a flow. But all of it is done in a new kind of partnership with this body that is compromised for now, but we are back in flow, and that’s what counts.
I’m learning that healing isn’t about getting my old body back.
It’s about honouring the body I have today and choosing to meet it where it’s at.
For now, that’s my practice:
Arriving as I am.
Breathing with what is.
Celebrating me and my body in its perfect imperfection.
What This Has to Do With Coaching
People come to me because they want to:
enhance how they lead
navigate change in their work or business
level up their business
I love my work!
But underneath whatever they come for, there is always a deeply personal component.
Without a solid foundation of a healthy, respectful relationship with ourselves through looking after our body, nervous system and inner world – all the strategy will be compromised.
Without a solid foundation of a healthy, respectful relationship with ourselves – our body, our nervous system and our inner world – no matter how clear the strategy, it will be compromised.
You can’t sustainably elevate your career if you’re completely disconnected from yourself. You can’t keep expanding your impact while ignoring the very body that has to carry you through it.
This journey with my knee has been a not-so-subtle reminder of that.
It’s teaching me again that personal growth isn’t always about doing more; sometimes it’s about doing it differently. On the mat, that looks like a different practice, extra cushions, fewer poses and less expectation.
In life and work, it might look like setting better boundaries that honour your energy levels or building your business in a way that matches your capacity today, not who you were five years ago.
No More Waiting for “Better”
My knee is still an ongoing journey. We haven’t found the magic fix. Some days are easier. Some days are not.
But in the middle of all that uncertainty, I am not putting my life on hold until it’s resolved.
Coming back to my mat each day, even for ten minutes, is my way of meeting myself where I’m at so I can create a future that honours my body and is actually sustainable.
If you’re in a season where your body, your circumstances or your energy have changed – I see you.
Maybe, like me, it isn’t about going back.
Maybe it’s about finding a gentler, adapted way forward.
One small step. One breath. One little homecoming at a time.
I hold a space where your humanity and your ambitions get to sit at the same table.
For now, I’ll be on my deck, me and my mat, relearning how to be at home in this version of my body.